Built-In Best Friend
April 15, 2026
Writer: Sarah Bowie
Editors: Akoya Wellington Alton & Ava Malkin
Photo: Pinterest
I recently called my sister while walking back from class, frustrated over some arbitrary drama I couldn’t quite put into words. I started with, “you know how…” and before I could even finish, she cut in with, “yes, and it’s such an annoying feeling being stuck in the middle.” I laughed, not because it was funny, but because she had somehow anticipated my exact thoughts, and she landed exactly where I was going without needing any explanation. In that moment, I was reminded that there will always be something only a sister can understand. That is, because my sister and I shared more than just a house; we shared the same home that raised us with the same perspective. She just gets it.
Oftentimes, whether I’m ranting about something trivial or filling her in on a more significant matter, I am filled with a distinct sense of comfort knowing there’s nothing I need to say to explain myself. With just a few words, she understands the exact vibe, idea or experience I’m trying to explain. It’s refreshing to be able to shortcut my way through the backstory explanation while getting into the heart of the story, without worrying about coming across as offensive, or even having to fully describe my complex thoughts and emotions. Even if my tone is misinterpreted or my narrative is indescribable, it never feels like too big a deal, because in about an hour, she’ll likely be asking to borrow my shirt.
Of course, growing up three years apart, we were bound to bicker over sharing clothes, debate who was better at volleyball, and seethe with anger when one of us got something first. However, as time went on, those moments that once felt immense are now entirely irrelevant; my sister is my best friend. There is no competition between us – rather, I feel honored when she follows in my footsteps. It reflects a quiet pride, watching someone you grew up with become their own person, while still seeing pieces of yourself in them. The cliche, “sisters by chance, friends by choice” has become clearer as I’ve grown older, especially since my sister and I are no longer living under the same roof.
What was once effortless has become something I seek out, something I choose, and in doing so, I’ve grown a greater appreciation for her, because she’ll always just get it. Instead of walking across the hall to her bedroom, I now intentionally call her. I’m comforted knowing that my sister is only one call away. It reflects a devoted and everlasting friendship, with the girl who just also happens to double as a sister. This is perhaps my favorite aspect of having a sister – the certainty of always having someone to turn to, without hesitation or doubt. Knowing that no matter how much changes, there will always be one person who understands me without explanation.
Beyond the value in someone “just getting it,” being an older sister has demonstrated it’s no longer just about growing up together, but about being someone she can turn to. Someone who understands her not only because of where we come from, but because I’ve learned how to be there for her in the ways that matter. Being an older sister has taught me a kind of warmth rooted in responsibility, patience, and an unspoken instinct to look out for someone else. In fact, while she might not even realize it, experiencing the patience my sister demonstrates with me and appreciating her steady presence, is how I grew, and how I learned how to be a better sister – I love being able to learn from my “not so” younger sister!
Lastly, shout-out to my sister, Emma, for putting up with my assertiveness (or bossiness) that comes with being the older sister – although I can’t promise that I still won’t force you to drive around to do errands with me! Nevertheless, thank you for understanding me by the look on my face, because you’ve exhibited that it’s not just about having someone to talk to, but about having someone who already knows.
