The Beauty of Being "Too Much"
August 25, 2025
Writer: Selin Tanyeri
Editors: Maya Rothbard & Dani Eder
Photo: Pinterest
I have been told I am "too much" more times than I can count: too loud, too emotional, too ambitious, too passionate, too opinionated. In different settings, different versions of me have been deemed excessive, like my presence needed to shrink to accommodate the comfort of others.
As a child, I was too talkative. Teachers reminded me to quiet down, to raise my hand less, or to take up less space in the classroom. At home, I was too sensitive, with my emotions spilling over like a glass filled past its limit. In friendships, I was too intense, wanting to hold on too tightly, caring too deeply, or expressing too much. Later, in academic settings, my enthusiasm was sometimes met with skepticism. "Tone it down," I was told. "Be less assertive. Be careful not to come on too strong." But here’s the truth: shrinking never felt like freedom, but rather it felt like suffocation. No matter how much I tried to be "less," I could never erase the parts of me that made me who I am. What I’ve learned is that "too much" is often just another way of saying "different." or “unique.” People who don’t understand us, or who aren’t comfortable with the depth of our existence, label us as excessive. Still, we were never made to be acceptable versions of ourselves for the sake of others; we were made to be whole.
There is beauty in being "too much." It means you feel deeply. It means you care beyond what is convenient. It means you have a mind that questions, a voice that refuses to be silenced, and a heart that loves without hesitation. The world does not need less of that. It needs more. More people who love fiercely, speak boldly, and refuse to dilute themselves for the convenience of others.. More people who take up space in a world that constantly tries to make them smaller. If you have ever been told you are too much, consider this: perhaps you are not too much. Perhaps, they are simply just not enough. Not enough to meet you where you are. Not enough to understand the depth of your thoughts, the weight of your emotions, the brilliance of your presence. And that is not your burden to carry. You were never meant to shrink yourself for the sake of their comfort. You were never meant to mold yourself into something more tolerable or more acceptable to those who could never understand the fullness of you.
Fighting the idea of being "too much" starts with unlearning the belief that we must shrink ourselves to be accepted. It means recognizing that our worth is not determined by how digestible we are to others but by how authentically we live. We can achieve this by surrounding ourselves with people who celebrate all of us rather than those who ask us to tone certain parts down. It requires embracing self-love so deeply that we no longer seek validation from those who misunderstand us. Most importantly, we must rewrite the narrative in our own minds: being expressive, opinionated, emotional, or ambitious is not a flaw, but a strength.
So, be too much. Be loud. Be passionate. Be unfiltered. Be exactly who you are, without apology. The world will try to make you small. Don’t let it. You were never meant to be squeezed into a box, you were meant to take up space, unapologetically. You were meant to love with your whole heart, to dream without boundaries, to live without fear of being "too much" for anyone.
