Semester of Change
December 6, 2024
Writer: Sarah Bowie
Editors: Kate Shapiro & Dani Eder
Photo: Pinterest
What could be better than spending a semester in Europe? The opportunity to explore a new city every weekend, savor incredible meals, experience new culture, and make unforgettable memories with special friends? What theoretically sounds like a dream come true should make me eager to begin the semester away, yet for a reason I cannot yet pinpoint, I feel so hesitant to go on this journey.
Studying abroad has been this future novelty on my radar ever since middle school. However, it always seemed like a lifetime away. The fact that now it’s a few months away is shocking to me. Everyday, I’ve been grappling to try and understand my conflicting emotions and where they are coming from. Ultimately, after ranting to my close friends over and over, I’ve realized they too are experiencing these feelings. I am not alone.
In just three short months, I will be across the Atlantic, failing to sleep, and watching movies on an eight-hour plane ride away from home. Once I land, I will be living in a foreign place with a distinct culture, different language, and all while being with new roommate assignments. My brain spins at the thought of all these new experiences. What if I don’t adapt to this change? What if I feel like an outsider? What if I can’t handle this change?
I have experienced change before. Just like going away to college freshman year, this change is a conjunction between excitement and anxiety. Change can feel frightening for anyone, and the only thing that’s certain about change is that it’s inevitable. Of course, leaving the campus I have finally settled into and feel comfortable in is daunting. When my mind begins to ruminate on how much is changing, I have found it helpful to remind myself how lucky I am that I have something to miss — something I am excited to come back to and can embark on a change that will only bring more joy.
As it’s nearing the end of my fall semester of junior year, I’ve looked back on my time at Cornell and couldn’t have asked for anything different. As every week passes and winter break looms, others express confusion about why I don’t want the semester to end. Is it wrong that I will miss my special little college bubble of Ithaca, listening to music together while getting ready, sharing makeup and clothes, and getting to sit with my friends to share our weekly debriefs?
Trying to analyze where my fear originated, I’ve realized it is because I am a transfer student. I was too focused on the idea that I’d be “missing” another semester on campus that I have already “missed” a whole year of. As I look back on my college experience, I wouldn’t have made some of my closest friends if I hadn’t transferred; so, as cliche as it sounds, everything does happen for a reason. I’ve realized that my friends, the people that make the place, will also be abroad and that this semester will only make us more excited to reunite senior year.
Anyone in my shoes would be anxious. It’s an inevitable part of doing something new. So, instead of stressing, I am embracing this change and channeling my anxiousness into excitement. Change is inevitable. I’m capable of adapting to it, and I’m lucky to get the opportunity to have this once-in-a-lifetime experience.
